Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs*

Alright. Time to revive this thing. We're going to put Chesterton on hold (not that we haven't already)(I still never posted those subsequent entries that are rotting in a notebook somewhere, did I? We'll save those for autumn.)

For now:
We are going to discuss the book Kim gave me for my birthday.

"Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs* (A Low Culture Manifesto)"
by Chuck Klosterman.

I started reading it in California, and I'm a fan so far. It's pretty pop-culture heavy, and was written by a Gen-X'er in 2003...so I'll be interested to see how enduringly relevant (or recognizable?) his references are.

Let's find out!

Thesis:
"In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever 'in and of itself,'" (introduction)

Chapter 1: This Is Emo

"No woman will ever satisfy me. I know that now, and I would never try to deny it. But this is actually okay, because I will never satisfy a woman, either," (p.1)

So one summer I was speaking at camp, and I have no idea what the topic at hand was...but I remember getting worked up over a bad Hilary Duff movie (Cinderella Story, to name names.) I guess I wasn't really up in arms over the movie itself, but it was more a challenge I wanted to plant deep in the psyches of 14 year-olds. I told them I wanted them to imagine the-scene-after-the-climactic-fairy-tale-ending-scene in a movie. The scene where Hilary Duff needs help carrying groceries in from the car and Prince Charming is refusing to pause his Xbox game. Or the one where she starts whining about something trivial and he reminisces about his Hilary-free days. Our culture has a severe problem with tunnel vision, locked on to that scripted Happy Ending scene that for some reason an entire continent full of educated humans who are fully cognisant of Time as a scientific law has subscribed to as a feasible life goal.

If Life was a recipe box, I'm certain the common ingredient in Divorce, Suicide, Infidelity, Depression, Abuse, and Boredom would be: Happy Ending Delusion.

Also, this misguided worldview is a pandemic among women. Lucky for me, I realized this early and have saved myself a lot of nonsense and wasted time. I hope I can help you too.


But back to Chuck:

He goes on to say that the blame for this universal fact of none of us being able to truly satisfy one another can't really be placed on any of us, because it's no one's fault. Or that maybe it's everyone's fault. Our "unifying characteristic," according to Chuck, is this:

"the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship [we] perceive to be a normal part of living," (p.2)

And my favorite part of the book so far is the follow-up comments:

"And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one for this (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack," (p.2)

"I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack," (p.2)

This is absolutely hilarious. Not just because I love John Cusack (not really for the reasons Chucky-boy is noting..more for nostalgic reasons), but because it is bang-on. And if you're not familiar with Mr. Cusack's work, I would reccommend becoming so. For the sake of being a courteous blog-host though, I will summarize thus: John Cusack plays the lovable/loyal/clever/witty/devoted/charming fringe-dweller-next-door who stands outside your window in a trench coat (not a creepy one, a fashionable 80s one) serenading you with Phil Collins on a boom box in the night because no way would he rather be passed out in a pizza and Call of Duty. He is the character you wish your boyfriend/husband/lazy-guy-friend-who-needs-to-grow-up was.

"We will both measure our relationship against the prospect of fake love," (p.3)

Don't say you haven't done it. I know you have!

"Fake love is a very powerful thing," (p.3)

Once upon a time, fairy tales were about little kids getting eaten by wolves and witches, and were used to prevent European children from doing stupid things. North America has managed to make "fairy tales" about people falling in love with wolves and witches, and most of them essentially end up promoting stupid behavior or assumptions, predominantly in adults (whose children are subsequently eaten by wolves and witches when their self-absorbed and chronically misled parents aren't paying attention.)

"In the nineteenth century, teenagers merely aspired to have a marriage that would be better than that of their parents; personally, I would never be satisfied unless my marriage was as good as Cliff and Clair Huxtable's (or at least as enigmatic as Jack and Meg White's)," (p.4)

"Pundits are always blaming TV for making people stupid, movies for desensitizing the world to violence, and rock music for making kids take drugs and kill themselves. These things should be the least of our worries. The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy," (p.4)

And if the Cosby Show/White Stripes references aren't cutting the mustard for ya, allow me to offer a gratuitous:




Well on that note, we'll break for now. Marinade a bit. Consider the scripts we're holding other humans in our lives to without having had the decency to notify them they're playing characters we made up (or copied.) Re-evaluate our perceptions of reality. You know. That junk.

Tune in next time for mine and Chuck's opinions about Nerd Chic guys, awkwardly one-sided friend crushes, and breakfast.